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Little Impacts

Like a footprint on an unattended zen garden.

Some say that a picture is worth a thousand words. Yet through time, I have come to discover that words leave the strongest impressions. Time after time, I find myself contemplating things that someone said. The intonation that they said it, the situation in which they said it, the gestures that they said it with, the state of mind in which they said it, the circumstances that caused them to say it. It’s always the little things that impact me the most. It’s the little things which people deem unimportant that affects my state of mind the most. Like a footprint on an unattended zen garden. Continue reading “Little Impacts”

I am Proud of You

I am proud of you, and clearly you don’t know that.

What does it mean? Being proud of someone. Or simply. Saying that you are proud of someone. What does it do? What effect does it make? What good does it make?

Being proud of someone stays with yourself. Because you are the one who is proud. You are the one who is feeling those feelings. You are the one who gets to go around and tell others about the person, or quite frankly, the object that you are proud of. Being vocal about it only makes your feeling visible. It lets others know that you are proud of that object. It lets the person know that you are proud of that person.  Continue reading “I am Proud of You”

Malboro

What could I say? I really had nothing to say…

Quiet nights prompt quiet thoughts.

Thoughts that seep deeper than soot.

Soot like agony pours heavily down.

Down right into the core of hidden pasts –

and fears unnoticed…

 

The park was quiet as usual. Just the way I liked it. It’s not like I hated the livelihood of the mornings, but the nights just add a little more mystery and ambiguity to it. The perfect atmosphere for a depressed guy having a depressing day. As the dusk caresses my gloomy features and blends into it, my heart sinks slowly into the abyss like the setting sun on judgment day. Continue reading “Malboro”

A Letter to Future

This is my letter to you from me.

Dear Future

Who grasps the unknown within her clutch like cage

Like a bottomless cage

Far from human touch

Yet available to fondle with

By your seductress-like fingers

For the sake of leaving a sense of unwanted mystery

Like the shrewd murderer to the oblivious victim

Or the invisible predator to the docile fawn

Continue reading “A Letter to Future”

If I Die Young

If only I could die young…

“If I die young bury me in satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song.”

From when I was a little boy, I have always had the same aspiration in life: to have the best funeral ever. A funeral where I could finally say to myself: “Damn, you did well. You tried your best. It’s fine.”  Continue reading “If I Die Young”

The Tears Behind the Laughing Emoji

I cried because this would not be the last time.

It had been three days since our fallout. Nobody spoke for three days. Nobody smiled for three days. I wanted the silence to last for another week. But someone altered the silence with a single question on the car ride home.

“What now?”

He was usually quiet about these things, trying to stay out of the mess, avoiding pick sides. I was taken by surprise that night. Mainly because I wanted to the silence to last longer. Continue reading “The Tears Behind the Laughing Emoji”

Understandable vs Okay

Does something being understandable make it okay?

This week has been a heavy and tiring week for me. Despite the large workload, cumbersome rehearsals, tiring commute, I continuously trouble myself with a single question: “Does something being understandable make it okay?”

The most recent example that I could think of would be on Tuesday in the subway. As usual, I boarded the usual A train to get to my usual class. I was having my usual spontaneous depressed mornings, listening to my usual depressing playlist in Spotify. This might have been what prompted my observant eye. Just when the doors of the trains were about to close, an African American woman boarded the train and stood in front of the doors to stop it from closing. Continue reading “Understandable vs Okay”

Confession of a Piscean

love is our mortal enemy and it kills us.

I am a Piscean and I have a confession to make: let love be out of reach of all

Let love be out of reach of all Pisceans, because love is our mortal enemy and it kills us.

Pisceans are people who are born under the Pisces horoscope, a collective who are regarded to more spiritual advanced than others. This is all thanks to a particular trait that most of us possess, absorbing others’ emotions.  Continue reading “Confession of a Piscean”

Spring Day – And Then There Were Four 16/3

Instead of making us fear to go on trips together, this trip made us look forward to our next one.

Last day, bye apartment, bye DC… Well, not just yet. We did leave our lovely little apartment and returned the keys to the owner, but our trip was not about to end just yet.

We went to Virginia for some cheeky little Dim Sum brunch and walked towards the bridge connecting Virginia to Georgetown. (really wanted to cross the bridge, but it was just too cold) Then we went to visit the Captiol Hill. Continue reading “Spring Day – And Then There Were Four 16/3”