Never Let me Love What I Do

Because people around me will get hurt because of it…

Advertisements

Never let me love what I do… since that will be the downfall of me.

since that will be the downfall of me.

If I were an epic hero, my hamartia would be my dedication. My dedication is one that I was once proud of and it is not something that I would easily show in every single field. My dedication is only dedicated to my passion, my dream, my aspiration. When I dedicate myself to my work, my hobby, my performance, my art, I dedicate my heart and soul. I give what I do a part of me as I seal this sacred bond between it. It becomes holy, it becomes alive, it becomes a part of me. I do not dedicate half of my soul to it, I give it my entirety. I become one with my passion.

But this also means that I get submerged in my passion. I sink like a finless dolphin, slowly but surely descending into my doom. As I show my dedication, I sink a little more. I sink so deep that I reach a zone where no light could enter, nor escape. I become so blind that I become willing to not only put my soul into my work but also my life. My life slowly diminishes into particles and fades out of existence. My value becomes fused with my work, and so I realize that my value is no longer mine. I exist, but not without my work. I sank into the deeps of the sea of passion. I am blinded. I am dead.

I am willing to risk anything just to prove my worth through my work. I am willing to risk my relationships, my money, my time, my mind, and ironically, my reputation. I am willing to risk anything so that the dedication that I invested into my work gets rewarded. Little do I know that the force that pulled me down into the bottom of the sea is much greater than the force that pushes me back up. I get swallowed, engulfed. I am submerged. Enticingly. Entirely. Eternally.

So never let me do what I love, nor love what I do…

Because people around me will get hurt because of it…

For that reason, I have decided to live a life away from my dream. Away from danger. Away from risk.

Away from a chance of happiness… and passion…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s